Distant friends, disappointment, and weariness

I think i have the power to push people away. Because my friends, once they found a new group of friends, they will leave. I mean, it’s ok to have many friends and not just one particular group or squad, but how could you forget your old squad that once was your only? How could you forget all that you’ve done together? How could you forget that i was the one who will be there when you have no one to talk to anymore, i don’t understand?!

It’s been a rough week for me, and there are many reasons to cause it. First, i am tired with school stuffs, so i just don’t have time to deal with things like my shitty problem that is not so important. Well, it is important because they are my friends, but considering of who i am now, i have to be professional and do my responsibilities and don’t let my problems affect my work.

Secondly, i don’t have enough rest lately. A night sleep is not enough. I have been going home from school after dawn. I go to school still dark, and leave school already dark. I also don’t have enough energy to study at home or do my homework. My mom always ask me to study at home so that i could remember the lesson perfectly. But no, i don’t know why i just can’t do it. My body is too tired to do so.

I guess i just go with the flow. My body is still adaptating with my new kind-of-day.

I hope i could catch up with my grades.

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